Every first and third Tuesdays of the month during the school year, I attend a local mom's group called Mom 2 Mom. Through it, I have met many wonderful women and I thoroughly enjoy these two and a half hours a couple times a month to have free childcare and guaranteed adult conversation. If you are a fellow stay-at-home mom, I'm guessing you can relate.
On this particular Tuesday, the discussion topic was grace-based parenting. Basically, it means parents should extend grace to their kids in every day life situations in order to show them how God gives grace to us, his children. By doing so, common problems with legalism and Christian behavior modification are minimized and children better grasp the concept of Matthew 22:37-39, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. Love your neighbor as yourself." There is more to it, of course, but that was the part that I remember most.
I do agree with this in theory, but in practice, I don't know if I can implement it entirely in my house. At the age my kids are, I tend to lean a little more towards the parenting advice of Tedd Tripp in Shepherding a Child's Heart, which stresses teaching young children up to around 5 years old that they are under authority of their parents, who in turn are under the authority of God. Once they understand this, more emphasis is then placed on deeper Christian tenants such as grace. I don't want to raise my girls to be legalistic, with a list of do's and don'ts to follow. I want them to understand that nothing they can do will help them earn God's love, because it is a free gift to them, made possible only through Christ's death on the cross. Also, they need to know that once they accept Christ as their Savior, nothing they do will separate them from the love of God. Of course that does not give them license to sin freely, but it does give them peace and confidence in their relationship with God and his never-ending love and grace towards them. In this way, Mark and I, as their parents need to demonstrate such love and grace towards them, in order to hopefully show what God does for them on a larger scale.
God does not just give grace upon grace though, He also disciplines us, which I suppose can be considered grace as well. But it sure doesn't feel gracious when we have to discipline as parents... unless we consider say a spanking for climbing on the table vs. falling onto the tile and cracking your head open. Give me the spanking, please! Discipline cannot be absent within the umbrella of grace.
I am excited to attempt some of the things I learned about grace-based parenting one day. For now, my girls really need to understand that they aren't in charge. Once we get that down, we will introduce the beautiful, unbelievable concept of grace to them. Our desire is for them to experience grace in our home so that they will be aware when God bestows grace in their lives. Please pray this for us!
2 comments:
I have the book if you want to borrow it. It's a great read, and I find myself thinking of it often and it challenges me every time. Parenting is hard and raising kids for Christ in this world is even harder! I think you're doing a great job and relying on God's guidance in all situations.
I don't know about all situations, although that would be the goal. :) Maybe when I come up there this spring, I can get it from you. Thanks!
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